Quislibet: A Musical Interlude

Tuesday, October 21st, 2003

Winds of Change pointed me to an excellent piece of translation work. It shouldn’t take long to recognize the original work that Quislibet: A Musical Interlude has translated into Latin:

magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
(Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.)
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
(For who, colleagues, would not admit,)
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
(Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body)
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
(Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits)
virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius
(So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches)
clunibus profunde fartas(*1) esse
(Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?)
a! captus sum, nec desinere intueri possum.
(Alas! I am captured, nor am I able to desist from gazing.)
o dominola mea, volo tecum congredi
(My dear lady, I want to come together with you)
pingereque picturam tui.
(And make a picture of you.)
familiares mei me monebant
(My companions were trying to warn me)
sed clunes istae libidinem in me concitant.
(But those buttocks of yours arouse lust in me.)

By all means, read the whole translation.

Help! Help! I’m being repressed!

Friday, October 10th, 2003

I overheard a co-worker proclaiming “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” earlier today — in tell-tale English-peasant voice — and I couldn’t stop myself from looking up Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The aforementioned passage:

ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn’t vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don’t vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, ‘ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the
purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of
the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to
carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing
swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive
power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some
farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power
just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here
that, eh? That’s what I’m on about — did you see him repressing
me, you saw it didn’t you?

Man Kills Friend, Drinks Blood

Thursday, October 9th, 2003

Creepy. Man Kills Friend, Drinks Blood:

A Scottish man obsessed with vampires has been jailed for life after killing his best friend, drinking his blood and eating part of his skull, British media reported Thursday.

Allan Menzies, 22, told the High Court in Edinburgh, Scotland, he had made a pact with a female vampire from 2002 horror film ‘Queen of the Damned’ and stabbed 21-year-old Thomas McKendrick to death in the hope of becoming immortal.

Menzies said the film’s lead character Akasha, played by the late U.S. singer Aaliyah, had come to his home and told him to carry out the murder.

Menzies was found guilty of murder after his offer to plead guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility was rejected.

The judge Wednesday sentenced Menzies to serve at least 18 years without parole, calling him an ‘evil, violent and highly dangerous man who is not fit to be at liberty.’

Obviously we need to ban Ann Rice novels and the movies they inspire.

U.S. Senator’s Wife Abducted, Robbed, Released

Tuesday, October 7th, 2003

So, is this going to end up on K Street on Sunday? From U.S. Senator’s Wife Abducted, Robbed, Released:

The wife of U.S. Republican Sen. Judd Gregg of New Hampshire was abducted from their home in a tony Washington, D.C.-area suburb on Tuesday, made to withdraw money from a bank and released unharmed, police said.

K Street Cred

Wednesday, September 17th, 2003

I enjoyed Julian Sanchez’s take on HBO’s new K Street, in K Street Cred — particularly this bit:

The promise of camera-hungry politicos doing unscripted cameos had Beltway junkies feverishly dreaming of an unholy Crossfire/Temptation Island hybrid that would make Dr. Moreau blush.

He nails one of the show’s problems:

What we see on the screen is a second-order simulacrum — people playing out ultra-self-conscious reproductions of public personas that are already elaborate constructs. The result is not only unconvincing, but vaguely eerie. In one scene, Sen. Don Nickles (R-Okla.) is supposed to be at least mildly peeved to learn that James Carville, an analyst at a consulting firm Nickles employs, has taken on a pro bono gig prepping Howard Dean for the Democratic primary debate. Yet even the lines in which he’s meant to be voicing his severest displeasure are delivered in unnaturally serene, modulated tones, and he manages to keep a wide shit-eating grin plastered on his mug the whole time.

I also strongly agree with another issue: “There’s also an enormous amount of inside baseball here.” I don’t “breathe politics,” so most of the subtext was lost on me.

Poets & Writers

Thursday, September 11th, 2003

Poets & Writers opens with an amusing anecdote:

When Michael Dirda was in seventh grade, someone told him that Crime and Punishment was a mystery. He liked mysteries, had read the Hardy Boys, among others, so he went to the library in search of Dostoyevsky’s tome. He checked it out and read it — in three days. “I couldn’t put it down,” says the Pulitzer Prize-winning critic. “I just thought it was the best book I’d ever read in my whole life. I still think it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.”

Why Buffy Kicked Ass

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003

Virginia Postrel’s Why Buffy Kicked Ass explains American values:

When Buffy the Vampire Slayer premiered on the WB Network in 1996, American culture was in trouble. Americans were bowling alone, pursuing individual interests to the detriment of the communal good. Business leaders were celebrating creativity and neglecting discipline. Nike’s “Just do it” ads were teaching young people to break the rules. Hollywood was turning out “nightmares of depravity.”

Americans had forgotten bourgeois virtue. Freedom and affluence had made us soft. We were self-indulgent moral nihilists — materialistic, selfish, and impulsive. We might have been having fun, but we’d created a culture no one would fight for.

At least that’s what the wise men said.

On September 11, 2001, they shut up. Ordinary Americans, it turned out, were not only brave but resilient and creative, even lethal, when it mattered.

Buffy was right all along.

Nice use of “reification”:

The show, which ended its seven-season run in May, began as a reification of the horrors of high school. What if that ambitious cheerleader wannabe really was a witch? What if the girl no one paid attention to really turned invisible? What if the swim coach really would do anything to win? What if sleeping with your boyfriend made him act like a different person, turned your Angel into a cruel and vicious monster?

The show’s precepts (in a bulleted list):

  • Evil exists.
  • Redemption is possible.
  • Evil must be fought.
  • Evil never goes away.
  • We don’t get to choose our reality.
  • We do get to choose what we do.
  • Life’s pleasures are precious.

Cruise Says Role in "Samurai" Difficult

Thursday, August 28th, 2003

I have to say, I was a bit confused as to why Tom Cruise was starring in a Samurai movie. Cruise Says Role in “Samurai” Difficult explains his actual role:

In the film, directed by Edward Zwick, Cruise plays an American hired in the late 1800s to help Japanese warriors in Western war tactics.

Here’s the part that interests me most though:

‘I trained for eight months prior to shooting the film,’ the 41-year-old actor told a news conference packed by some 700 reporters and cameramen Thursday. ‘I put on 20 pounds for the character but also for the muscle to carry the swords and wear the armor.’

Twenty pounds of muscle is a lot of muscle — and eight months isn’t very long to put on that much mass.

Actor Arrested After Using Real Bullets

Thursday, August 21st, 2003

I suspect that the plot of the real-life story is far more interesting than the plot of the movie being made. From Actor Arrested After Using Real Bullets:

An actor in an action scene apparently was handed a gun with real bullets rather than blanks, causing him to shoot and kill another actor, authorities said Thursday.

Actor Flavio Peniche — brother of internationally known soap-opera star Arturo Peniche — was arrested on suspicion of manslaughter and then released on bail of $40,000 on Wednesday, according to the attorney general’s office of Morelos state, just south of Mexico City.

The incident occurred on Saturday during filming of a low-budget movie, “The Scorpion’s Vengeance,” at a hotel in Cuernavaca.

According to a police report sent by fax to the Associated Press, the scene called for Peniche to shoot six people. After firing what were supposed to be two blanks, he realized that actor Antonio Velasco had been wounded and the crew ran for help.

Velasco died shortly afterward at a Cuernavaca hospital.

Police said they were still seeking the film’s producer, Eduardo Martinez Sanchez, and a props manager known only as “El Cepillo” — “The Brush” — who disappeared after the incident.

Birth of a Medium: Video games, art, and moral panic

Wednesday, August 20th, 2003

Birth of a Medium: Video games, art, and moral panic compares video games to early movies — and points out that early movies were not protected by the First Amendment:

For Henry Jenkins, a professor of media studies at MIT, the video game Grand Theft Auto III is a bit like Birth of a Nation, the 1915 film that cineastes praise for helping create the basic grammar of the movies and simultaneously damn for celebrating the Ku Klux Klan.

“In terms of what it does for games as a medium, Grand Theft Auto III is an enormous step forward,” says Jenkins. “It represents a totally different model of how games can tell stories and what you can do in a gamespace. It happens to be yoked with some sophomoric images of violence that a lot of us wish weren’t there.”

Mary Lou Dickerson, a Seattle Democrat in the Washington legislature, sees only the violence. A bill she sponsored will ban stores from selling or renting violent video games to anyone under 17.
[...]
Birth of a Nation faced censorship battles too. In those days, the courts held that the First Amendment didn’t apply to the movies, which were seen as a medium more for pie fights than for art. In other words, they were viewed the way video games are viewed today. In 2002 U.S. District Judge Stephen Limbaugh ruled that video games are not protected speech, a judgment that’s unlikely to be law 10 years from now but sums up the current conventional wisdom.

Monsters Were Due on Maple Street

Wednesday, August 20th, 2003

Nick Gillespie summarizes a classic Twilight Zone episode — one I recently watched on DVD — while discussing the recent power outage, in Monsters Were Due on Maple Street:

Remember the old Twilight Zone episode, “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street,” ranked as one of the series’ best by those who care about such matters? A minor classic on Cold War hysteria, it takes place on a typical street in a typical American town, where the power goes out for no apparent reason. Within hours, the neighbors are at each other’s throats, accusing one another of treachery and worse. As the lights intermittently come back on and the day turns to night, rioting and shooting occur and the whole place goes to hell in a hand basket. Because it’s the Twilight Zone, with its mandatory groan-inducing denouement, we learn at the close of the show that two big-headed aliens, an advance team for a planned invasion of the planet, have been playing the Maple Streeters for suckers. What they did here, they’ll soon do all over the country.

As Gillespie says, “yesterday’s record-setting blackout that left some 50 million without electricity should have been a Maple Street moment,” but it wasn’t.

Indeed, the most interesting blackout-related story is the one that never happened. The sort of pandemonium, hysteria, looting, crime, and chaos that typically greets even minor football victories as well as catastrophic utility failures simply didn’t materialize.
[...]
Compare this blackout to the last great power failure in Gotham, which ushered in what then-Mayor Abe Beame understatedly referred to as a “Night of Terror”. The total damage for the crime, arson, and theft associated with the ’77 blackout is generally pegged at around $150 million and the mayhem that ensued (including looting and widespread muggings in broad daylight) is considered on a par or worse with what followed in the wake of the late-’60s race riots there.

Julian’s Lounge: Notes from the Lounge

Tuesday, August 19th, 2003

In Julian’s Lounge: Notes from the Lounge, Julian comments on comic books and obscenity:

You’ve probably already heard of Jesus Castillo (interviewed here): He’s the man who was recently denied an appeal by the Supremes after being convicted of selling a clearly marked adult comic book… to an adult. The key argument, apparently bought by jurors who knew nothing about contemporary comic book markets, was that all comics are inherently for kids.

Now, if you’re reading this, you probably already know how preposterous that is, that there’s a huge number of titles obviously geared for adults — and not just in the “adult toys” and “adult films” sense of “adult.”

But it’s actually worse than that. See, it occured to me that, not only are comics not entirely for kids, but I almost never see people younger than 18 or so in comic shops at all. And upon checking, it proves that, lo and behold, the average age of a comic book reader is 24. So not only was the Texas DA wrong in general to tell the jury that “Comic books, traditionally what we think of, are for kids,” he wasn’t even right on average. If you’re in Texas, tell your governor that he’s the last hope for a hapless clerk who’s already paid $4,000 and is currently on probation for selling adult material to an adult cop. And send a (polite) email to the politician, Mary Poss, who’s responsible for this particular case of entrapment.

I think he assumes too much when he says, “You’ve probably already heard of Jesus Castillo,” and he treats an average like a median (are half of comic-book buyers over 24?), but he makes a good point: how is an “adult” comic obscene when an “adult” magazine isn’t?

The Cossacks’ Iliad

Friday, August 8th, 2003

The Cossacks’ Iliad piqued my interest in Taras Bulba, an early Russian novel (from 1842) described by its author, Gogol, as an epic poem (even though it is entirely in prose):

Take the wild history of the Cossacks in the Ukraine. Add the birth of nationalism and the drawing in of the principalities around Moscow to form a modern country. Include Eastern Orthodoxy’s long struggle against the Catholic Poles and the Ottoman Muslims. Don’t forget a love story in which a son betrays his father and his people for the sake of a beautiful daughter of the enemy. Mix in a big dollop of anti-Semitism and alternating moments of unselfconscious joy in the midst of battle and unselfconscious moroseness at night around the campfire. Finally, douse the whole thing in huge buckets of vodka, and the result can have only one name. Russia.

Why nitrate?

Thursday, July 17th, 2003

I stumbled across some amusing history in Why nitrate?, an article that explains why Kodak used something as explosive as nitrocellulose for filmstock:

It was created to replace ivory, which was expensive, and becoming scare since the Elephants were being killed at a faster rate than they were reproducing. Initially, nitrocellulose was used for billiard balls, cufflinks, combs and other toiletry items, as a replacement for ivory since the cost of making it was so cheap. Even then, it was highly flammable. If you hit a pool ball hard enough it would explode. In fact, there’s a gag in a Buster Keaton film when he uses pool balls like grenades while being chased. Nitrocellulose combs and cufflinks used to start on fire when people smoked near them. Despite it’s danger, it was so cheap to make many people liked it and it allowed middle class people to afford the luxury items reserved for the wealthy in the ivory days.

[...]

It was when the French and later Americans actually started projecting the nitrate film onto large screens with brighter Carbon Arc illumination that the problems started. The film shrank in the exchanges and if it jammed in the projector you had a major fire on your hands. An early screening in France at the turn of the century started a nitrate fire that killed a hundred patrons and there were nitrate fires in vaults, labs and theaters throughout its history. Di-acetate safety film was developed in the twenties by Kodak and Pathe but only used for the amateur and non-commercial markets because it shrank more rapidly than Nitrate. It wasn’t until 1948 that slow shrinking, slow burning tri-acetate safety film was adopted by the industry and the nitrate phased out.

The Real World

Thursday, July 17th, 2003

Theodore Dalrymple opens The Real World with a few simple truths that really hit home (at least for me):

Just as city-bred people find themselves surprised and alarmed by the intensity of natural darkness in the countryside, so many young people now feel uneasy, almost to the point of agitation, when confronted with silence. Without an incessant background din of music, radio, or television, they cannot (or say they cannot) concentrate. It is as if their own unaided thoughts alarmed them, and they suffered an addiction to distraction.

I am city-bred (or suburb-bred), and I can’t see a damned thing at night without street lights. Also, everyone used to look at me like I was crazy when I said I didn’t listen to the radio during my morning commute. (In fact, my old car had no radio. I had planned on getting something higher-end than the base factory equipment — until I found out I enjoyed the silence just fine.)

Anyway, Dalrymple’s main point follows:

It is hardly surprising, then, if many people now gain their sense of reality not by contact with reality itself, but through television. What happens on the screen is more real to them than what happens all around them. Reality and virtual reality have changed their order of importance in their mental economy.

Last week, I was teaching a medical student when the police brought into our ward a man who that morning had stabbed his girlfriend to death and then had taken an overdose. He still had his girlfriend’s blood on his feet.

The killer was not a habitual criminal. Indeed, he had never been in trouble with the police before in his 30 years. An immigrant who came to Britain four years previously, he had gone to live with his girlfriend at her invitation, but she had soon tired of him and began to taunt him unmercifully about his lack of sexual prowess. He became intensely jealous of her former lovers. That morning, they had had a violent quarrel, and she threatened him with a kitchen knife. He grabbed it from her, but still she taunted him. He stabbed her once, non-fatally, but still she continued her stream of insults. Then he stabbed her two or three times, and she died. He took his overdose and called the police.

His account of the events was of the greatest lucidity. Evidently, he felt compelled to speak. He appeared to have the gift of narrative. When he came to the fatal stabbing, he began to cry. “I’ve committed the biggest sin there is,” he said. “I’ve taken the life of another, and now I must pay the price.”

When the patient left my room, the medical student, a middle-class 22-year-old, was visibly shaken. He had never heard anything like this confession before. He struggled to put his thoughts into words.

“Phew!” he said, shaking his head. “It’s just like on TV.”

And you can’t get more real than that.