Typing Monkeys Don’t Write Shakespeare

Sunday, May 11th, 2003

According to Typing Monkeys Don’t Write Shakespeare, six monkeys sharing one computer won’t produce Shakespeare:

Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, the theory goes, and they will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare.

Give six monkeys one computer for a month, and they will make a mess.
[...]
At first, said Phillips, “the lead male got a stone and started bashing the hell out of it.

“Another thing they were interested in was in defecating and urinating all over the keyboard,” added Phillips, who runs the university’s Institute of Digital Arts and Technologies.

Eventually, monkeys Elmo, Gum, Heather, Holly, Mistletoe and Rowan produced five pages of text, composed primarily of the letter S. Later, the letters A, J, L and M crept in.

We need more monkeys!

The notion that monkeys typing at random will eventually produce literature is often attributed to Thomas Huxley, a 19th-century scientist who supported Charles Darwin’s theories of evolution. Mathematicians have also used it to illustrate concepts of chance.

The monkeys’ output has been posted on-line.

Henson Family to Buy Back Muppets

Wednesday, May 7th, 2003

According to Henson Family to Buy Back Muppets, EM.TV made a really bad investment in the Jim Henson Company:

Ailing German media group EM.TV & Merchandising AG said on Wednesday it agreed to sell Jim Henson Company, the maker of the Muppets, to the children of their inventor, the late Jim Henson.

Putting an end to a protracted auction that has been going on for years, EM.TV said it would sell its wholly owned subsidiary completely for $89 million. It bought Henson for $680 million at the peak of the stock market bubble in 2000.

If I recall correctly, Jim Henson died in 1990. EM.TV bought the Jim Henson company for $680 million ten years after his death?

American Exorcism: Expelling Demons in the Land of Plenty

Monday, May 5th, 2003

American Exorcism by Michael W. CuneoIn A Sociologist’s Journey into the American Heart of Darkness, Kevin Christopher of the Skeptical Inquirer reviews American Exorcism: Expelling Demons in the Land of Plenty:

Cuneo begins his book with a poignant and timely lamentation of the modern Catholic priesthood: “The past three decades haven’t been particularly kind to the Catholic priesthood. One would be hard-pressed to find another profession that has fallen harder or further from grace in so short a period of time.” He notes the dramatic thinning of the ranks beginning in the 1960s and 70s, the frantic scramble to find relevance in the modern world, and the endless sexual scandals. The image of the Catholic priest, writes Cuneo, “has more often been the priest as pious fraud, the priest as philanderer, the priest as yesterday’s man — equivocating, beleaguered, and thoroughly redundant.”

In one exceptional area, however, the priest remains a cultural hero. “That area,” writes Cuneo, “is exorcism, and it is the priest-as-exorcist that has somehow managed, in defiance of all odds, to retain a heroic grip on the popular American imagination.” Modern Catholic liberals had hoped that exorcism would be relegated to Church history along with the other medieval trappings and customs. What such Catholics never anticipated, according to Cuneo, was the modern media’s role in breathing new life into the ancient rite of exorcism.

In the first four chapters Cuneo deftly sketches out the sundry sources of the exorcism renewal. He begins with the well-know pop Ursprung: William Peter Blatty’s 1971 novel, The Exorcist, and the 1973 film of the same title that it inspired. He characterizes Blatty’s work as massive structure of fantasy resting on a flimsy foundation of a priest’s 1949 diary account of the possession of a young boy in Mount Ranier, Maryland.

I can still remember renting The Exorcist — somehow I’d never seen it — and watching an interview with Blatty where he explained that he wrote The Exorcist as, more or less, a work of pro-Catholic propaganda. I almost spit out my drink. The true horror comes in realizing that it worked.

The road to 1984

Monday, May 5th, 2003

In The road to 1984, Thomas Pynchon explains how 1984 is not a “straightforward allegory about the melancholy fate of the Russian revolution” :

Orwell in 1948 understood that despite the Axis defeat, the will to fascism had not gone away, that far from having seen its day it had perhaps not yet even come into its own — the corruption of spirit, the irresistible human addiction to power were already long in place, all well-known aspects of the Third Reich and Stalin’s USSR, even the British Labour party — like first drafts of a terrible future. What could prevent the same thing from happening to Britain and the United States? Moral superiority? Good intentions? Clean living?

Xiao Xiao

Sunday, May 4th, 2003

I don’t know who or what Xiao Xiao is, but the Xiao Xiao stick-man kung-fu movies are really, really funny — in a hyperviolent kind of way. (You’ll need the Macromedia Flash Player installed to enjoy the later movies. The first is a simple .avi file.)

Danvers Asylum for the Criminally Insane

Sunday, May 4th, 2003

Geeks may know that Batman’s nemeses ended up in the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. True geeks know that Arkham Asylum was named after the Arkham Sanitarium in the works of influential horror author, H.P. Lovecraft. Über-geeks know that Arkham Sanitarium was based on the Danvers State Hospital in Danvers, Massachusetts (formerly Salem Village). From Danvers Asylum for the Criminally Insane:

Before long I was pretty nearly a devotee, and would listen for hours like a schoolboy to art theories and philosophic speculations wild enough to qualify him for the Danvers asylum. (“Pickman’s Model”)

I’ve heard personally of more’n one business or government man that’s disappeared there, and there’s loose talk of one who went crazy and is out at Danvers now. (“The Shadow Over Innsmouth”)

The first two NecronomiCons, a convention devoted to the Cthulhu Mythos and H.P. Lovecraft, took place at the Sheraton Tara Resort, about a mile north of the hospital. The eerie, Gothic towers of the hospital can be seen from the hotel. Michael Ramseur has written a lengthy article titled Danvers State Hospital: A Perverted Holy Place? which explores the history of this site.

(Kudos to Kent for out-geeking me with this bit of trivia.)

Beethoven’s ninth symphony

Friday, April 25th, 2003

The Economist presents an amusing bit of Beethoven trivia

[The ninth symphony's] status as an icon of western classical music is unquestionable: in order that listeners could enjoy the entire work at one sitting, the 74-minute ninth symphony was used to set the standard capacity for a compact disc.

Aldous Huxley: An English Intellectual

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003

Dennis Drabelle opens his review of Aldous Huxley: An English Intellectual with the story of Huxley’s death:

Aldous Huxley died while tripping on acid. On Nov. 22, 1963 (the day President Kennedy was assassinated), mortally ill with cancer, unable to speak, he wrote out a request for an injection of LSD, a drug he had taken several times before. His doctor consented. Huxley’s second wife administered the injection and, two hours later, a second one. In keeping with the principles of The Tibetan Book of the Dead, she encouraged him to let go. When it was time, he did.

Wuther?

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003

While reading that MTV is updating Wuthering Heights, I had to ask myself, just what does “wuthering” mean anyway? Merriam-Webster OnLine provides an answer:

Main Entry: wuth·er
Pronunciation: ‘w&-[th]&r
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: alteration of whither to rush, bluster, hurl
Date: circa 1825
dialect English: to blow with a dull roaring sound

Dumas: The King of Romance

Monday, April 21st, 2003

In Dumas: The King of Romance, David Coward gives an account of Alexandre Dumas’s equally amazing father:

Dumas said he was born without even bootstraps to pull himself up with, but he chose his parents well. His mother was an innkeeper’s daughter who gave him unstinting love and his father was a stupendous role model. Thomas-Alexandre Davy de la Pailleterie was born in Santo Domingo in 1760, the illegitimate son of a French-born Marquis and Marie-Cessette Dumas, a plantation slave. Disowned by his father, he returned to France in 1786 and, taking his mother’s name, became a soldier. During the Revolution, he rose through the ranks and was a general at 33. He was a man of commanding presence, great courage and colossal physical strength: it was said that ‘the Black Devil’ could hold four rifles at the end of his outstretched arm, one finger in each barrel. In Egypt in 1799 he quarrelled with Napoleon, accusing him of putting personal ambition before Revolutionary principles; he was sent home. On the way, his ship was detained in Southern Italy by Ferdinand, King of the Two Sicilies, then at war with France. For two years he was left to rot in Brindisi castle. In a neighbouring cell, the geologist Dolomieu, another prisoner of war, applied himself, using soot, a stick and the margins of Bibles, to the composition of The Philosophy of Mineralogy. It was a bit like Edmond Dantés and the abbé Faria in the Chateau d’If, except that the general, his health and career broken, returned to France in 1801 and died of stomach cancer in 1806. Alexandre was four.

Action Film Trailer Generator

Sunday, March 16th, 2003

OK, this is too much fun: the Action Film Trailer Generator. Some samples:

In a cursed kingdom of madness, in an age of hopelessness, a dancer combats terrorism.

In a godless universe, in a time of danger, a secretary and a spy quest for hope and oppose lawlessness.

In a lost universe, in an era of sin, an armorer and a bounty hunter battle terrorism.

In an infernal world, four acrobats and a tomb-robber seek a mystic artifact.

In an ominous empire, in a time of wonder, six assassins quest for love and fight terrorism.

Bridget Fonda to Wed Danny Elfman

Saturday, March 15th, 2003

This headline caused a serious double-take: Bridget Fonda to Wed Danny Elfman. Here’s what it says:

Bridget Fonda won’t be a single white female much longer — she’s engaged to film composer Danny Elfman.

It will be the first marriage for the 39-year-old star of such films as “Single White Female” and “A Simple Plan,” and the second for Elfman, the former Oingo Boingo lead singer, People magazine reported in its March 24 issue.

Fonda has been recovering from a back injury she suffered when her car went over an embankment last month on rain-slicked Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, Calif.

The actress is part of a performing dynasty that includes father Peter Fonda, aunt Jane Fonda, and the late Henry Fonda, who was her grandfather.

Elfman, 49, is best known for his work on such Tim Burton films as “Batman,” “Beetlejuice” “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure” and “Sleepy Hollow.” He also composed the theme song for the Fox series “The Simpsons.”

No pictures of Danny Elfman — just lots of pictures of Bridget with Dwight Yoakam. Inappropriate, maybe?

America’s Biggest Readers

Tuesday, March 11th, 2003

Book Magazine presents its list of America’s Biggest Readers, and, frankly, these people scare me:

An obsessively omnivorous polymath, a speed-reading insomniac, an incomparably prolific reviewer and just some regular folks — here are our favorite people who read more than you do.

Take this description of Jules Arens, for example:

“I would read instead of play at recess,” she recalls. “And I had two little brothers I didn’t like, so I read instead of being tormented.”Eventually, she says, “I was tired of trying to pick stuff out, so I decided to start at the beginning.” For the last five years, she’s been reading her way alphabetically through the fiction department of the public library in Columbus, Nebraska, where she works as a veterinarian.

‘Idol’ Contestant Faces Assault Charge

Thursday, March 6th, 2003

From ‘Idol’ Contestant Faces Assault Charge:

An Ohio man booted off the Fox talent show “American Idol” in January has been charged with assault in a bar fight that resulted in a man’s death.

Jaered N. Andrews, 24, of Austintown, Ohio, is charged with simple assault for allegedly punching a man in the face Nov. 16 at the Blue Ribbon Grille in Farrell, about 60 miles northwest of Pittsburgh, near the Ohio state line.

Thomas E. Blakeley, 39, of Sharpsville, died when he fell and hit his head on the sidewalk after being punched, authorities said.
[...]
He remains free after posting $5,000 bond and could get up to a year in prison if he’s convicted.

Mercer County District Attorney James Epstein said more serious charges aren’t warranted because Andrews didn’t intend to kill Blakeley.

A terrible situation…but a perfect opportunity to cover a certain Elvis tune…

Legolas and Stunt Archery in the Fellowship of the Ring

Wednesday, March 5th, 2003

In Legolas and Stunt Archery in the Fellowship of the Ring, a Tolkien enthusiast and amateur archer examines the gear (bows, arrows) and technique used in The Fellowship of the Ring — in the kind of fetishistic detail we expect of Tolkien fans:

Legolas’ Mirkwood bow: An elegant 60″ recurve of dark wood, possibly hickory, painted with gilded ivy leaves and tendrils around the handgrip and tips. The string is black. Apart from the gilding, everything about the Mirkwood gear is somber earth tones, to reflect the place it came from, and perhaps as camouflage. Supposedly a 150lb draw (wow), although as a stage prop it would’ve been closer to 15 to avoid arm fatigue and wobble.

Legolas’ Lórien bow: It’s worth renting the extended version of the DVD just to see the delight in his eyes when he’s examining it, and the amusement of Galadriel watching him with a smile that seems to say, “Aww, the puppy likes his new toy.”

The bow is a longbow with recurve tips, with a stunning scalloped profile and decorations carved in high relief. For safety reasons mentioned above, this bow is actually injection molded rubber as opposed to traditional wood. Like all the elves’ possessions and architecture, it is embellished with organic, graceful patterns reminiscent of roots and leaves. Is it any better than the Mirkwood bow? Well, he certainly shoots faster with it! There’s a ton of photos of the detailing here.

Aragorn’s and Faramir’s bows: Aragorn’s is a short self bow suitable for hunting, compact enough to keep it from getting in the way while he’s swordfighting. All Aragorn’s archery gear is utilitarian and looks like he made it himself. It looks like a scaled-down version of the Gondorian longbow, which first appears in the prologue of FOTR, and is used by Faramir and his company in the later films.

Galadhrim bows: These exotic double recurves are reminiscent of South Indian bows, and stained dusty gold like autumn leaves. Like the pommels of the Galadrim’s two-handed swords, the limbs of these bows are tightly wrapped in thin flat metal spirals shaped like vines or tendrils; I’ve never seen anything like that before. The Galadrim bows also have an unusual crest on top. The bowstring is simply looped or tied rather than hooked over a notch; this is an older style of stringing a bow.

Orc bows: They are ugly, stiff composite bows that may be made partly of metal. The goblins of Moria use thick recurves that have a crudely-wrapped handgrip. The formidable bow of Boromir’s Least Favorite Orc has metal chunks sticking out on either side of the grip, and its shape is similar to Mongolian bows. Other orcs use short wooden recurves. All are plain apart from occasional wrappings.

Misc. bows: The armies of the Last Alliance give you a taste of archery during the opening scene: early elves used longbows with minimal but typically elvish dribbles on them. The men of Gondor in that battle and in the Third Age have powerful longbows strong enough to punch through armor at long distances (below). The Rohirrim have small composite horsebows. It’s hard to tell whether it’s just riders/actors gripping the bows off-center by accident, but these horsebows may be asymmetrical, a special adaptation of some real-world horse bows which maximizes power while minimizing the risk of hitting the saddle.

The Corsairs of Umbar (on the Black Ships) have a crossbow they don’t get a chance to use thanks to Aragorn’s undead army. The Mumakîl riders have some truly bizarre bows — some are recurves, while others have odd rings on the limbs which are either exotic decorations or meant to be the ridges on some kind of animal’s horn. See the gallery that follows this section for detailed images.

There’s more. Much more.