When the new Lone Ranger movie came out, a part of me wanted it to be good, because I enjoyed reruns of the original show as a preschooler — but even the original is Hollywood nonsense:
The Lone Ranger: There, it fits perfectly. Good job, Tanto.
Tanto: Here hat. Me wash in stream. Dry in sun. Make whiter.
The Lone Ranger: Thanks, Tanto.
Tanto: Here guns, to kill bad men.
The Lone Ranger: I’m not going to do any killing.
Tanto: You not defend yourself?
The Lone Ranger: Oh, I’ll shoot if I have to, but I’ll shoot to wound, not to kill. If a man must die, it’s up to the law to decide that, not the person behind a six-shooter.
Tanto: That’s right kemosabe.
That was quite progressive in 1949, I’m sure.