After inventing the modern Olympics, Baron Pierre de Coubertin went on to devise a modern pentathlon that debuted at Stockholm in 1912.
The ancient pentathlon comprised the long jump, javelin throw, discus throw, stadion foot race (~200 meters), and wrestling — a combination of light and heavy athletics.
The modern pentathlon comprises five “modern” — in 1912 — military skills: running, swimming, riding, shooting, and fencing. More specifically, it now involves fencing with the épée, swimming 200 meters freestyle, show jumping, shooting an air pistol at 10 meters, and running three kilometers cross-country — one kilometer at a time, interspersed with the shooting. Actually, not only is the pistol no longer a firearm, it’s not even an airgun; it’s a laser pistol designed to emulate an airgun.
This laser pistol is surprisingly expensive, which leads Jesse Thorn of Maximum Fun to ask, What kind of heartless monster wouldn’t help a nice Canadian girl buy a laser gun?
Pentathletes recently switched to laser pistols in international competition, and the pistols are expensive — over $2000 each. Donna’s just a nice lady who’s studying civil engineering… she gets a free flight to the Olympics, and gets to stay in the athlete’s village, but that’s pretty much the extent of her income from being a penthathlete. So we decided to help her pay for her laser gun. Because what kind of heartless monster wouldn’t help a nice Canadian girl buy a LASER GUN?
The goal is $2900, which would cover the gun, the laser assembly, and the replacement parts necessary in case of a malfunction. We’ve already raised nearly $1000, just today.
Naturally her new geeky fans are falling over each other in their rush to buy her a laser gun.