You used to hear parents tell their children, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That’s changed, Rory Miller (Meditations on Violence) says:
Now you hear: “Words can cut through you like a knife. Words can hold such venom or poison that they can damage, destroy or kill more effectively than a physical weapon.”I can’t help but think that this person has never been cut by a knife, or seen anyone destroyed by a physical weapon. Maybe there’s a scale, or maybe more: people assume that the worst they’ve ever been hurt is at the very edge of what humans can feel. So if the worst pain you’ve ever felt is an unkind word, you think it must be worse that the third or fourth or fifth worst pain I’ve ever felt, which was probably lying on my back after a good fall unable to breathe trying pathetically to scream or at least squeek for help. Or maybe running on a broken leg. Or frostbite (no, recovering from frostbite was the worst or second worst).
Maybe it’s just me, but lying on a couch for a few days trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I might be blind in one eye was way worse than being embarassed or insulted or demeaned.