Scientists Ask Congress To Fund $50 Billion Science Thing

Monday, October 1st, 2007

Scientists Ask Congress To Fund $50 Billion Science Thing:

Top physicists from several major American universities appeared before a Congressional committee Monday to request $50 billion for a science thing that would further U.S. advancement science-wise and broaden human knowing.

The scientists spoke for approximately three hours about the complicated science machine, which is expensive, and large, telling members of the House Committee on Science and Technology that the tubular, gamma-ray-using mechanism is vital in some big way. Yet the high price tag of the thing, which would be built on a 40-square-mile plot of land where the science would ultimately occur, remained a pressing question.
[...]
The scientists concluded their presentation by informing the committee that, if constructed correctly, the super science-flyer would be able to answer questions about many, many things, mainly stuff about the universe that sounded like it would be very good to know about.

“Now, I’m no science major, but if I’m being told by a group of people that the protons, neutrons, and electrons need unifying, then I think we owe it to the American people to go in and unify them,” Rep. Mark Udall (D-CO) said. “After all, isn’t a message of unity what we want to send to our children?”

You have to love The Onion.

Leave a Reply