Worst. Videogame. Evar.

Friday, October 19th, 2007

A friend of mine — Hello, John! — observed that “the video games we played as children (specifically on the 2600) would be viewed as punishment by the kids of today.” It turns out that one Nintendo game was designed to be the Worst. Videogame. Evar.:

Popular Japanese action film actor Takeshi Kitano, perhaps best known in mainstream UK for his riotous imported gameshow, Takeshi’s Castle, released four little-known videogames bearing his name in the late 1980s.

Reportedly Takeshi hated the idea of videogames so much that he wanted to create one so irritating and poorly-designed that it shocked its players into a realisation of the futility of their hobby.

One of the games, Takeshi no Ch?senj? (Takeshi’s Challenge) was released for the Nintendo Famicom in 1986. The title screen bears the text: “This game is made by a man who hates videogames.”

Over the course of the game players are presented with a succession of increasingly ludicrous, near-impossible and vague tasks. One of the earliest missions in the game is to sing karaoke for exactly one hour (utilising the second Famicom controller, that has a built-in microphone) in order to progress.

If you manage to do this successfully everybody else in the bar then attacks you without provocation.

It gets better. After this Takeshi dispenses with all metaphor and has you literally sit and do nothing in front of your TV for, wait for it, four hours before you can progress to the next level. No cheating though: to ensure you really are sat in front of your warming Famicom and not off sleeping to pass the time, the game requires you hold down the ’select’ button for the full duration.

The next section switches to a sideways-on shoot ‘em up in the Gradius style. Here you must avoid the oncoming bullets but, to make things unpleasant, you don’t have an ‘up’ movement. Insread, you must carefully mange your limited number of downward dodges until you hit the bottom of the screen and can no longer move the craft.

If you make it through all of this, and few people ever do — the game is famous in Japan for being one of the hardest videogames of the 1980s — the game’s final boss takes 20,000 hits before he is defeated.

There’s a video from Japanese TV of some poor guy trying to finish the game.

Video games train new miners in Peru

Friday, October 19th, 2007

Simulators and “serious games” have been popular with the military for decades. Now video games are being used to train new miners in Peru:

Giant video games with throaty diesel engines powering monster-sized earth movers, excavators and dump trucks have hardened miners at a metals conference this week in Peru giggling like children.

Far more than just a gimmick to attract customers to the Caterpillar Inc. stand, the video games are actually simulators designed to help teach people to use massive, multimillion-dollar heavy mining equipment.
[...]
Caterpillar says the simulators allow companies to train people without having to take costly equipment out of service, or risk expensive accidents.

Dump trucks of 180 tones sell for around $2.5 million and excavators in the mining industry can cost up to $20 million.

The simulators at the 28th biannual mining conference in Peru’s colonial city of Arequipa are modeled after similar ones used to train airplane pilots.

Players struggle at first to use a blinking and buzzing mix of pedals, levers and buttons to motor around huge plasma screens.

One test has players pick up dirt with an excavator and deposit it in a dump truck.
[...]
The simulators require drivers to pass through timed obstacle courses in simulated mining pits, being careful to avoid wrecking multimillion-dollar rigs and causing the games to crash.

The driver’s cabin in the dump truck bounces over the rough road of mines and some players enjoyed backing the truck up to a ravine and pulling a lever to dump the dirt load.

With skilled equipment operators in short supply, the simulators could also help fill a hole as new mines come into operation.

“There are some real shortages of people in the mining industry right now, so anything involving training is useful,” said John Capehart of Automated Positioning Systems, which makes sensors that help show excavators where to dig.

Wargaming the War You’re In

Friday, October 19th, 2007

As I’ve already mentioned (a few times), Matthew Caffrey’s Toward a History Based Doctrine for Wargaming, sounds terribly dull, but it includes some fascinating anecdotes, like this story from World War II:

The Germans made heavy use of wargaming throughout the war. The Germans’ wargame of the “Middle” Battle of the Ardennes may have been their most unusual. Early in the fall of 1944, the Fifth Panzer Army conducted a wargame of an American attack on their assigned sector — the Ardennes. While the wargame was going on, the Americans actually attacked. Instead of dismissing the game, Field Marshal Walter Model sent only the commanders of units in contact back to their commands. He then directed that actual American movements be fed into the game. The Germans then wargamed each of their orders before executing them. Finally, when it was time to commit the reserves, Model called their commander over to the wargame map, personally briefed him, and sent him on his way.

I love this story:

On the morning of the Iraqi attack [which initiated the First Gulf War], Mark Herman, the designer of the commercial wargame “Gulf Strike” and employee of the defense contractor Booz Allen, was approached by the Joint Staff and asked to produce a wargame of the developing situation. He was on contract by lunch. By modifying his commercial wargame “Gulf Strike,” he was able to begin play of a now classified wargame by midafternoon!

Robot Cannon Kills 9, Wounds 14

Friday, October 19th, 2007

Robot Cannon Kills 9, Wounds 14 — seriously:

We’re not used to thinking of them this way. But many advanced military weapons are essentially robotic — picking targets out automatically, slewing into position, and waiting only for a human to pull the trigger. Most of the time. Once in a while, though, these machines start firing mysteriously on their own. The South African National Defence Force “is probing whether a software glitch led to an antiaircraft cannon malfunction that killed nine soldiers and seriously injured 14 others during a shooting exercise on Friday.”
[...]
The anti-aircraft weapon, an Oerlikon GDF-005, is designed to use passive and active radar, as well as laser range finders, to lock on to “high-speed, low-flying aircraft, helicopters, unmanned aerial vehicles (UAV) and cruise missiles.” In “automatic mode,” the weapon feeds targeting data from the fire control unit straight to the pair of 35mm guns, and reloads on its own when its emptied its magazine.

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the robots will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

Home-grown

Friday, October 19th, 2007

The Economist says that California’s biggest crop is bright green and funny-smelling:

Greg Garland, a local [Chino Hills] narcotics cop, used to discover about a dozen houses a year that had been turned into marijuana factories. So far this year he has raided more than 40. The production boom is not confined to the suburbs. Since April the state’s annual “Campaign against Marijuana Planting” has pulled 2.9m plants worth some $10 billion from back gardens, timber forests and state lands (see chart). Marijuana is now by far California’s most valuable agricultural crop. Assuming, very optimistically, that the cops are finding every other plant, it is worth even more than the state’s famous wine industry.

The illicit crop is grown with a technical sophistication that Napa Valley’s Robert Mondavi might envy. To supply outdoor plantations, rivers are dammed and water piped as far as two miles. Plants are nourished with fertilisers and tended by workers brought to America specifically for the purpose. Ageing hippies are responsible for only a few such operations. Kent Shaw, a state narcotics officer, reckons four-fifths of outdoor marijuana plantations are run by Mexican criminal gangs.

Indoor factories, by contrast, are largely the province of East Asian entrepreneurs. They prefer to buy houses rather than rent them, to avoid the attention of landlords. They tend to go for big ones in good neighbourhoods: the property in Vista del Sol cost more than $600,000. Like good horticulturalists, they propagate strains of the plant that produce a high proportion of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC, marijuana’s active ingredient) and speed their growth by means of heat and artificial light.

Why the boom? The National Survey on Drug Use and Health shows that the rate of marijuana use in California has barely risen in the past few years, whereas production has hugely increased. Some 11% of the state’s population indulge—just a puff over the national average, and less than every state in New England.

The likely explanation is a steady tightening of America’s borders after the terrorist attacks of September 11th 2001 and the panic over illegal immigration. California used to import high-grade marijuana from Canada and low-grade weed from Mexico. Both routes are now more risky. As a result, Asian gangs have moved south from British Columbia, where they dominate the hydroponic trade. Mexican distributors, who may handle cocaine and methamphetamine as well as marijuana, have diversified into production.

The Strategy of Technology and Strategists

Thursday, October 18th, 2007

The Strategy of Technology notes the importance of true strategists in positions of authority:

Strategists are almost never found in universities, or indeed in civilian life. These rare birds will generally have had a long career of working with military officers and military problems. Most strategists are, of course, military officers of reasonably high rank and long service. The converse is not true; many high ranking officers of long service have no conception of strategy — this is not intended as a criticism. The vast majority of military assignments involve the implementation of a strategic plan rather than its generation. Leadership of men, technical proficiency, courage, stamina, and careful attention to detail are all required of the successful field officer; yet nearly all these qualities may be lacking in a good strategist.

The strategist is, above all, an intellectual, but he is an intellectual of a different order from the scientist and engineer, or the average university professor. The strategist, unlike the scientist, deals with a world of secrecy, incomplete information, and real uncertainties which cannot be measured by statistical procedures. He lives in a world of intelligent opponents who seek to thwart him at every turn. He is concerned with the generation of plans which will be carried out by others, and he makes use of principles rather than scientific laws.

Strategists may in fact be unable to carry out their own plans. Many great strategists have lacked the vital qualities of leadership required of great military captains. Some have suffered from severe personality defects which prevented them from convincing anyone of the soundness of their plans. Consequently, strategists are not necessarily carried to the top of the military services unless they have been diligently sought and carefully chaperoned during their careers.

The U.S. armed services are not organized to locate and promote strategists, and originality in strategy has never been plentiful during out history. American military history shows rather the reverse: in all our wars, we have generally started with poor strategists in command and had to muddle through until we found strategic competence — e.g., Lincoln’s difficulties in locating a general who could take advantage of the peculiar strengths and weaknesses of the Union Army.

The solution is to “encourage strategic thought, particularly among younger officers, and ensure promotion for officers who show genuine strategic talents” — something associated with the Prussian general staff:

This nation has always been fearful of a general staff, falsely identifying this useful military instrument with Prussia and Nazi Germany and supposing it to be incompatible with democratic institutions. When the structure of a general staff corps is explained, not one American in a thousand recognizes what it is; yet he no longer fears it when he does understand it. There may be good reasons for rejecting the general staff concept, but we venture to suggest that it be rejected for something better than a pipe dream such as that which was brought to an end by the historic event at Kitty Hawk.

In fact, the general staff corps concept is this: at an early stage in their careers, certain young officers are selected as potential strategists, intelligence experts, and staff officers. Management of their careers is then given to the general staff; they are posted to staff assignments and schools where they study war, strategy, tactics, military doctrine, and history. School assignments are alternated with service in the field and with such special arms as artillery, infantry, and armor. They remain in the general staff corps until they are thought to be unsuitable for it, whereupon they can either be transferred to one of the line services or retired.

During their careers in the corps, the selected officers alternate between appointments to general staff headquarters and its specialized branches — such as logistics, and attache duties — and appointments in the field, where they serve as chiefs of staff to the field commanders of successively larger units. Thus, commanders learn to command and staff officers learn the functions of staff work. Commanders and staff officers each have their own paths of promotion, and are not in competition with each other until they come to the highest positions. Even there, competition may be kept to a minimum because staff officers often make good commanders above the corps level.

This, in brief, is the general staff corps system. It produces officers who have considerable knowledge of strategy; it requires them to be familiar with the operations of the military services and the tactics of the field forces; and it encourages them to think in intellectual rather than command terms. The system has been proved to be effective, although it is subject to improvements.

Marines: we want our own war

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Marines: we want our own war:

Today’s New York Times reports on a fascinating proposal by the Marine Corps to split its duties with the Army in a very novel fashion: the Marines would take Afghanistan, and the Army would take Iraq. According to folks in the know, the proposal would give the Marines a chance to field their integrated “Marine Air Ground Task Force” or “MAGTF” concept, while also enabling each service to optimize its force packages and force-provider systems to fit the particular country it’s fighting in.

I love Phil Carter’s analysis:

Interesting proposal — but probably DOA. I can only imagine the stream of expletives from senior Army officials when they read this plan. The basic points of contention are two: 1) does this mean an end to joint operations? 2) Oh sure, the Marines just want to fight the popular war while the Army gets to deal with the clusterf–k that Iraq has become.

Health care policy should be debated through micro-facts

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Tyler Cowen says that health care policy should be debated through micro-facts, like these:

  1. American health care outcomes look much better once we adjust for race and other demographic factors, including violence and car crashes. Some groups — such as Asian-American women — have remarkably good health care outcomes.
  2. Some of the health care savings of other systems occur through price effects (e.g., doctors are paid an average of $60,000 in France) and do not involve real resource savings.
  3. American’s high expenditures, however wasteful they may be, nonetheless drive much of the world’s medical innovation. Medical innovation is also a public good to some extent and no the pharmaceutical companies are not simply parasites on the NIH and universities.
  4. America has a different structure of interest groups. and therefore a single payer system in the United States would not operate as does a single payer system in other countries. It would more likely favor the interests of doctors and insurance companies, for a start.
  5. If we take the international health results/expenditures data at face value (and we shouldn’t), they imply that greater access to medical care does not itself improve health outcomes. So we should be careful in how we use and cite such results.
  6. Health care outcomes improve with income even under single-payer systems. Our best estimates suggest that this gradient is no steeper in the United States than it is in Canada.
  7. Having health insurance does improve your health care outcomes, but not to an amazing degree. The largest benefits are arguably the alleviation of financial risk, and no I am not meaning to slight that factor.
  8. Pharmaceuticals, unlike many forms of health care, have large and noticeably positive effects on individual health.
  9. The major Democratic health care plans on the table all, one way or another, admit they will spend more money on health care. The fact that other countries spend less therefore does not help predict the change in spending that would result from these plans.

Two Metaphors for Government

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Arnold Kling shares Two Metaphors for Government:

On our left, we have George Lakoff, discussing the way taxes ought to be framed.
Are you paying your dues, or are you trying to get something for free at the expense of your country? It’s about being a member. People pay a membership fee to join a country club, for which they get to use the swimming pool and the golf course. But they didn’t pay for them in their membership. They were built and paid for by other people and by this collectivity. It’s the same thing with our country — the country as country club, being a member of a remarkable nation.

On our right, we have Robert Higgs.

The state cannot refrain from crime because it is an inherently criminal enterprise, living by robbery (which it relabels taxation) and retaining its turf by mass murder (which it relabels war).

On the one hand, the state is a country club, and our taxes are the dues we pay for the privilege of membership. On the other hand, it is a criminal enterprise.

Neither metaphor is entirely wrong. I pay my membership dues to the Maryland and U.S. governments because the other criminal enterprises offer an even less attractive package of benefits and dues.

Celebes Sea Jellyfish

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Scientists have discovered a new jellyfish in the Celebes Sea:

This handout photo made available in Manila by the University of Alaska shows a deep sea jellyfish found by a US-Philippines underwater expedition in the Celebes Sea. Researchers said a swimming sea cucumber, a Nemo-like orange fish and a worm with tentacles sprouting from its head are among dozens of possible new species found during the survey of the Celebes Sea.

The Grief That Made ‘Peanuts’ Good

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

The Wall Street Journal managed to get the extremely reclusive Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes, to discuss David Michaelis’s new biography of Charles Schultz and The Grief That Made ‘Peanuts’ Good:

At that time, most of the strip went over my head, and I certainly had no understanding of how revolutionary “Peanuts” was or how it was changing the comics. “Peanuts” pretty much defines the modern comic strip, so even now it’s hard to see it with fresh eyes. The clean, minimalist drawings, the sarcastic humor, the unflinching emotional honesty, the inner thoughts of a household pet, the serious treatment of children, the wild fantasies, the merchandising on an enormous scale — in countless ways, Schulz blazed the wide trail that most every cartoonist since has tried to follow. David Michaelis’s biography, “Schulz and Peanuts,” is an earnest and penetrating look at the man behind this comic-strip phenomenon. With new access to Schulz’s personal files, professional archives and family, Mr. Michaelis presents the fullest picture we have yet of the cartoonist’s life and personality.

Schultz was, apparently, a tortured artist:

Born in 1922, Schulz always held his parents in high regard, but they were emotionally remote and strangely inattentive to their only child. Schulz was shy and alienated during his school years, retreating from nearly every opportunity to reveal himself or his gifts. Teachers and students consequently ignored him, and Schulz nursed a lifelong grudge that so few attempted to draw him out or recognized his talent. His mother was bedridden with cancer during his high-school years, and she died long before he could prove himself to her — a source of endless regret and longing for him. As a young adult, he disguised his hurt and anger with a mild, deflecting demeanor that also masked his great ambition and drive.

Once he finally achieved his childhood dream of drawing a comic strip, however, he was able to expose and confront his inner torments through his creative work, making insecurity, failure and rejection the central themes of his humor. Knowing that his miseries fueled his work, he resisted help or change, apparently preferring professional success over personal happiness. Desperately lonely and sad throughout his life, he saw himself as “a nothing,” yet he was also convinced that his artistic ability made him special. An odd combination of prickly pride and utter self-abnegation characterizes many of his public comments.
[...]
Schulz’s fixation on his work was total, and his private life suffered as a result. Mr. Michaelis uncovers quite a bit of Schulz’s more personal tribulations. Schulz’s strong-willed and industrious first wife, Joyce, grew disgusted with his withdrawal, and she often treated him cruelly. As the marriage finally unraveled, Schulz had an unsuccessful affair, and he later broke up the marriage of the woman who became his second wife. Schulz’s life turned more peaceful after he remarried, but he never overcame the self-doubt and dread that plagued him. Work remained his only refuge. At the end, deteriorating health took away Schulz’s ability to draw the strip, a loss so crushing that it can only be considered merciful that he died, at age 77 in 2000, the very day his last strip was published.

He drew much of his material quite directly from his own life:

We discover, for example, that in the recurring scenes of Lucy annoying Schroeder at the piano, the crabby and bossy Lucy stands in for Joyce, and the obsessive and talented Schroeder is a surrogate for Schulz.

Reading these strips in light of the information Mr. Michaelis unearths, I was struck less by the fact that Schulz drew on his troubled first marriage for material than by the sympathy that he shows for his tormentor and by his ability to poke fun at himself.

Lucy, for all her domineering and insensitivity, is ultimately a tragic, vulnerable figure in her pursuit of Schroeder. Schroeder’s commitment to Beethoven makes her love irrelevant to his life. Schroeder is oblivious not only to her attentions but also to the fact that his musical genius is performed on a child’s toy (not unlike a serious artist drawing a comic strip). Schroeder’s fanaticism is ludicrous, and Lucy’s love is wasted. Schulz illustrates the conflict in his life, not in a self-justifying or vengeful manner but with a larger human understanding that implicates himself in the sad comedy. I think that’s a wonderfully sane way to process a hurtful world. Of course, his readers connected to precisely this emotional depth in the strip, without ever knowing the intimate sources of certain themes. Whatever his failings as a person, Schulz’s cartoons had real heart.

The Strategy of Technology and Project Management

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

Stefan Possony, Jerry Pournelle, and Francis Kane wrote the original draft of The Strategy of Technology from 1968 to 1970 — “a time when the Cold War was real and the outcome still very much in doubt” — and then updated it over the years.

It argues that the US should have a clear strategy for winning the Technological War, and in the process it makes some points about project management:

Apollo

The Apollo program of manned exploration of the Moon was certainly the outstanding achievement of this Century. It is a landmark of what the U.S. could achieve given a challenge to the scientific and engineering community.

The Apollo program was also the most complex action ever undertaken by the human race. It is interesting to note that the second most complex activity in history was Overlord, the Allied invasion of Normandy in 1944. Although Apollo was accomplished outside the Department of Defense, it was no accident that many of the key leaders, such as General Sam Phillips, were highly experienced managers of advanced military technology programs.

The Apollo program was mission oriented. Its management structure closely resembled a military organization. Instead of micro-management from the top, there was delegation of authority. Tasks were narrowly defined, and responsibility for achieving them was spelled out in detail. As with the ICBM program, parallel processes were set up to investigate alternate ways of achieving critical tasks.

The result was that technology was produced on demand and on schedule. Setbacks and even tragedies such as the capsule fire did not halt the program. On 20 July, 1969, the Eagle landed on the Moon, a little more than eight years after President Kennedy began a task which much of the scientific community said could not be accomplished in two decades.

Military Aircraft

In 1962 Project Forecast identified a requirement for new military aircraft. Systems designs began shortly thereafter.

Unlike the Apollo program, both the fighter and bomber programs were micromanaged from the top. There were endless reviews and appeals.

As a result, the first of the new generation of fighter aircraft was not rolled out until the mid-70′s, and were not in the operational inventory in numbers until considerably later; and both the Navy and Air Force are now flying aircraft whose basic designs are twenty years old.

The B-1 fared even worse. Not only was there micromanagement, review, and appeal, but the program itself was cancelled by political authorities. The first operational B-1 was delivered in 1983; we now have a full inventory of 100 B-1 bombers.

The B-1 bomber and the F-14, F-15, F-16, and F-18 fighters are probably the most advanced aircraft of their kind in the world; but the contrast between the 8 years from conception to operation of Apollo, and the 16 and more years from design to operation of these aircraft, is worth noting; particularly when contrasted with the rapid development and deployment of the P-51 and P-47 aircraft during World War II. Recall that the P-51, then the world’s most advanced fighter, went from drawing board to combat operation in under a year.

Note also that the reviews and delays characterizing the development and procurement of the B-1 and the new fighters did not save money. The total program costs were considerably higher than they would have been had we set up a management structure similiar to Apollo; indeed, the total costs of these programs exceeded that of Apollo, which was brought in on time and under budget.

Learning to Learn to Fight

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

I’ve been discussing Matthew Caffrey’s Toward a History Based Doctrine for Wargaming, which sounds terribly dull but is really full of fascinating anecdotes.

One issue with wargames that I noticed a long time ago was that players have strong incentives to use their anachronistic “out of character” knowledge to fight any particular historical battle or war the way it should have been fought, knowing what we know now and using the lessons learned from the actual conflict.

In a real conflict, of course, you haven’t learned those valuable lessons yet. For instance, the US Navy didn’t really know the capabilities of the Japanese going into WWII:

All through this period, US intelligence on the specific characteristics of Japanese weapons and of troop training levels was atrocious. Instead of arguing over what they did not know, the Navy turned this handicap into an advantage. How they did it shows their keen insight into education and human nature.

Naval War College students certainly wanted to win their big “capstone” wargame at the end of their school year. As students have always done, they asked those who graduated before them for advice, or in the vernacular of the US military, “gouge.” Graduates were happy to provide advice: “Try to engage the Japanese at night, they are blind; watch out for their torpedoes though, they are killers; fortunately, though, their ships sink like rocks after the lightest of battering.” However, when they talked to someone who graduated in a different year, they learned “Avoid night engagements, the Japs are incredible; and their ships are so rugged they can really close in and slug it out; at least you don’t have to worry about their tinker toy torpedoes.” Slowly it dawned on the students — the faculty was giving the Japanese different strengths and weaknesses in each wargame!

What were the students to do? Unable to simply learn Japanese strengths and weaknesses before the game, they had to play the game in such a way that they could learn them through experience before any decisive engagements took place. Once they learned what those strengths and weaknesses were, they would then develop a strategy to put US strengths against Japanese weaknesses while protecting our weaknesses from Japanese strengths. They could then force the decisive engagements. In other words, they were “learning how to learn.”

How laws die

Monday, October 15th, 2007

In 1972, the National Commission on Marihuana and Drug Abuse reported back to Congress — and recommended ending marijuana prohibition.

I did not realize that a similar commission came to a similar conclusion on another matter. Tim Wu explains, in How laws die:

In 1968, the American pornography industry was new and shocking, and a “deeply concerned” Congress set up a $2 million commission to look into the growing problem. In a way that seems unimaginable today, the commission came back with findings that were exactly opposite to what Congress wanted to hear. To what Newsweek then called “the subcommittee’s unconcealed horror,” the commission concluded that society, not pornography, was the issue. “Much of the ‘problem,’ ” wrote the commission, “stems from the inability or reluctance of people in our society to be open and direct in dealing with sexual matters.” The commission recommended two legal reforms: repealing all obscenity laws at the state, local, and federal levels; and replacing them with new laws to protect children and to control public display. In short, the commission thought pornography, kept at home, was fine — it just had to be kept from minors and out of the public media.

In 1970, when the report came out, President Nixon and other politicians outdid one another condemning it. Nixon called it “morally bankrupt” and thundered, “So long as I am in the White House, there will be no relaxation of the national effort to control and eliminate smut from our national life.” The Senate voted overwhelmingly to reject the recommendations. As a legal matter, the commission’s ideas were dead on arrival.

Here’s his point:

Today, despite these laws, there are very few prosecutions centered on mainstream adult pornography. Over the last decade, and without the repeal of a single law, the United States has quietly and effectively put its adult obscenity laws into a deep coma, tolerating their widespread violation with little notice or fanfare. Today’s obscenity enforcement has a new face: It is targeted against “harmful” porn (that is, child pornography and highly violent or abusive materials) and “public” porn, or indecency in the public media. This enormous transformation has occurred without any formal political action. And it illuminates just how America changes law in sensitive areas like obscenity: not so much through action as through neglect.

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

Monday, October 15th, 2007

Stephen Colbert is a mock columnist, amok. He wrote Maureen Dowd’s New York Times column this week:

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(

I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

Colbert is promoting his new book.