In Semper Infantilis, Douglas Kern attacks attempts to keep recruiters off campuses:
Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘Kern,’ you’re thinking, ‘you’re going to write about the ironic vicissitudes of fate. Thirty years ago, a Marine recruiter would have been laughed out of public schools for his dorky hair, goofy outfit, and squaresville manners — not to mention the crappy jobs and useless ‘benefits’ he had to offer. Now, those same qualities make that Marine recruiter some kind of mystic Rasputin, who must be kept out of schools for being too seductive and enticing.’ That would be a good point. But that’s not my point.‘Okay,’ you’re thinking, ‘you’re going to write about the abject absurdity of the notion that military recruiters will appeal to anyone but a small handful of students. Benefits or no benefits, enlisting in the military entails a near-total surrender of autonomy, abuse from a drill instructor, relentless exercise, and the possibility of a gory death — all for jobs that pay less than the minimum wage when you do the math. In a hot economy, and in the middle of a shooting war, just how many kiddies will follow this Pied Piper out of the city gates?’ That’s another good point. But it’s not my point.
‘I got it! Colleges don’t require any sacrifices comparable to those that the military demands, but colleges recruit at public schools all the time. Doesn’t the military need a little legislative help, to stand on equal footing? And if you don’t think that the military deserves to stand on equal footing with colleges, doesn’t that opinion reflect an anti-military attitude that most people would rightly reject?’ Yes indeed. But that’s not it.
‘Perhaps,’ you’re thinking, ‘you’ll write about how many teens enlist in the military not despite the possibility of combat, but because of it.’ Nope.
‘Well, smart guy,’ you’re thinking, ‘how about this: it’s preposterous to think that any teen in America can enlist in today’s military without realizing that death in combat is a real possibility. There’s this hip new thing that’s hot with the young crowd. It’s called television. And if you watched it at any time in the past two years, you might have seen several trillion profiles of young soldiers getting maimed or killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Heck, this war has the lowest casualty ratios of any major conflict fought in recent times, yet the MSM lingers over every tragic death like it’s the 100,000th soul to perish at Antietam. Are military recruiters really so glib and convincing that they can talk teens out of noticing that war kills?’ Sorry. Not my point.
‘Ummm?maybe something about the idiocy of kicking military recruiters out of public schools, only to let students drive themselves home at the end of the day? Seeing as how letting teenagers drive is, statistically speaking, every bit as dangerous as letting them join the military?’ No.
‘All right, Kern,’ you growl, ‘it’s gotta be this: Given that eighteen-year-olds (and younger!) have fought in every American war, frequently with great distinction, it’s crazy to suggest that young people possess the wherewithal to be war heroes but not the wisdom to make an intelligent choice about joining the military in the first place.’ Now you’ve got it!”