You Need to Compare

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2015

A recent debate revolved around ISIS, but ISIS is not the point, Spandrell reminds us:

The point is that you have a bunch of men in that room, and you’re supposed to make a judgment about them. You need to compare. And comparisons require a yardstick. What do we compare about them?

How tall and handsome they are? Well that works in some places. How well they dance or sing? That happens in many places too. How strong and brave they are in single combat? Lots of cultures did that too. But we don’t. We resent tall and handsome men are privileged enough in the sexual marketplace, so fuck that. Fuck dancers too, those get women also. And fuck single combat, the average voter isn’t a good fighter. We don’t want to give high status to tall, strong men with good dancing feet. That would make us feel inadequate. And with good reason, in Africa they give high status to all those men and it sucks.

Our culture gives high status to men with ideas. Everybody can claim to have good ideas. It doesn’t take good genes, nor dancing or fighting skills. Everybody can learn to parrot bullshit after a little practice. Bullshit is the most egalitarian arena, so all status contests are done in the realm of bullshit. Now bullshit requires a topic too. Remember in middle school, when a bunch of friends got together and stared asking: “What would you do if you were invisible?” Or “Batman or Spiderman?” What’s the point of those questions? Nobody’s gonna become invisible. But by asking stupid questions you get people to talk, and through their answers you get to know their character. The question doesn’t matter. The more outlandish the better. You can’t get to know people by asking them a factual question. It has to be bullshit.

And adults do the same thing. In the Cultural Revolution people liked to discuss materialist dialectics. The Republican party likes to talk National Security. Why? Did peasants in Jingzhou give a shit about Hegel? Of course not. Does anybody in the USA really care about Raqqa? No. So why won’t people shut up about it?

“You gotta talk about something!”. That’s what my mother tells me when I ask her why does she like discussing the news about stuff she absolutely has no clue about. And… that’s all there is to it. There’s a bunch of old dudes on TV, and you gotta choose one. Experience says they’re all lying their asses anyway. But you gotta choose one. And how do you choose one? You throw some bullshit topic at them and look at how they respond. Then you have something to make judgment about. How they talk. Tone of voice, body language. Logic. This guy sounds smart. Oh this guy’s a doofus. Hey this guys sounds like fun to have a beer with.

You then choose a guy who you like, or more accurately, you choose the guy because saying that you like that guy makes you look good with your friends. And you made that decision after seeing him speak about ISIS. What’s ISIS? I don’t know. Who gives a shit. I just kinda like the guy who said we should bomb them. So yeah, let’s bomb them. What, we just spent 2 trillion bombing some other guy? Who gives a shit, it’s not like I know the difference. They’re not gonna lower my taxes if I choose not to bomb someone, right? So anyway, yeah I like that bomb-ISIS guy.

Comments

  1. Phil B says:

    True, that …

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