Unforeseen Twists

Friday, March 30th, 2012

Foseti refers to modern crime dramas as progressive porn:

A few weeks ago, I was watching some progressive porn. In this particular case, it was an episode of Criminal Minds (see #153). The show started with the murder of a nice white family in their home. A dead, black, apparent-gang-member was also found dead in the home. The gang member was apparently killed by the family during the attack. There were a couple killings in this same area with this same pattern.

Obviously, you’re supposed to think that the killings are gang-related — young blacks killing white families. However, if you notice patterns (i.e. if you’re a thought criminal), you know that you’re watching progressive porn (i.e. a crime show on network TV). The rules of progressive porn prohibit any minority from being a criminal — the real criminal must always be a relatively-well-off white guy. Sure enough, after some “unforeseen twists,” (which were obvious to any thought criminal after about 3 minutes) it’s revealed the real killer is a white guy running for political office. He’s just inciting some racial violence to stir up the electorate (who could have possibly seen that coming?!).

This has something to do with current events:

The scene opens with an apparent cold-blooded murder by a crazed, racist, white (sorry for the redundancy) neighborhood watchmen gunning down a defenseless black honor student. Even the President(!!!) makes a comment on the incident.

After a series of “unforeseen twists,” it’s revealed that the watchmen was Hispanic — or White Hispanic in the terminology of the New York Times (I’ve got money saying this particularly phrase doesn’t last long in the Times’ lexicon) — and he very likely may have been acting in self defense. The “victim” may have initiated the violence, may have been a drug dealer and/or a burglar, and now his supporters are looting stores to honor his memory.

Despite the fact that this process was entirely predictable, the editor of National Review and all sorts of others were somehow foolish enough to beclown themselves. Apparently they’re not very good at noticing patterns.

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