Megan McArdle reminded me of The All-Drug Olympics, a bit of comedy gold from back in the day:
Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union.
His trainer has told me that he’s taken anabolic steroids, Novacaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he’s had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics — in fact it’s encouraged.
Akmudov is getting set now. He’s going for a clean and jerk of over fifteen hundred pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That’s an awful lot of weight, Dennis, and here he goes.
Oh! He pulled his arms off! He’s pulled his arms off! That’s got to be disappointing to the big Russian!
You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis! He probably doesn’t have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he’s really going to feel that, Dennis! Back to you!