Ready to Pop the Question? First, Do the Interrogation presents a not-so-romantic scenario:
If you have an engagement ring in your pocket, with plans for a memorable Valentine’s Day, you might want to hold off asking, “Will you marry me?”Instead, consider these less romantic but more crucial questions:
After we get married, will you maintain contact with past lovers? Whose advice will you accept first, mine or your mother’s? If we have two cars, who drives the newer one? Has anyone ever had reason to be afraid of you? Do you put other people down to make yourself feel better? Does my nose hair bother you?
Whew! It’s no longer the institution of marriage. It’s the inquisition.
This says a lot:
Among the most telling questions: Would you ever consider trading in your engagement ring for a bigger, better diamond? In a 1988 poll of 200 new brides by Diamond Cutters International, 46% said yes and 54% said no.Now, 15 years later, these women have been polled again. Of those who in 1988 were willing to trade up their diamonds, 81% are now divorced. Of the sentimental types who said they’d never trade their rings, 78% remain married today. The results suggest that people who are “hard-wired” to upgrade rings also may be driven to upgrade cars, houses and eventually, spouses, says psychiatrist Francisco Montalvo, who monitored the study.
A great (if not so positive) anecdote:
Before getting married in 1995, Clayton Gurnett asked his father, “Am I doing the right thing?” His dad replied: “Do you love her?” Mr. Gurnett responded: “She’s a good person. She’ll make a good mother.”“He should have stopped me right there,” Mr. Gurnett now says. His dad agrees.