How To Have A Number One The Easy Way

Wednesday, October 6th, 2004

How To Have A Number One The Easy Way, written by the Timelords in 1988, explains the Golden Rules of a chart-topping hit song:

Firstly, it has to have a dance groove that will run all the way through the record and that the current 7″ buying generation will find irresistible. Secondly, it must be no longer than three minutes and thirty seconds (just under 3’20 is preferable). If they are any longer Radio One daytime DJs will start fading early or talking over the end, when the chorus is finally being hammered home — the most important part of any record. Thirdly, it must consist of an intro, a verse, a chorus, second verse, a second chorus, a breakdown section, back into a double length chorus and outro. Fourthly, lyrics. You will need some, but not many.

I’ve considered going this route:

The simplest thing to do would be to flick through your copy of the Guinness Book of Hits, find a smash from a previous era and do a cover of it, dressing it up in the clothes of today. Every year there is at least a couple of artists who get their debut Number One this way. From the eighties we have already had:

Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin “It’s My Party”

Roxy Music “Jealous Guy”

Soft Cell “Tainted Love”

Paul Young “Wherever I Lay My Hat”

Captain Sensible “Happy Talk”

Neil “Hole In My Shoe”

Tiffany “I Think We’re Alone Now”

Wet Wet Wet “With A Little Help”

Yazz “The Only Way Is Up”

Comments

  1. Grasspunk says:

    2004!

    That list of first number ones has a lot of only number ones, too: Soft Cell, Paul Young, Captain Sensible, Neil, Tiffany, Yazz.

  2. Grasspunk says:

    Also common is copying the style and feel and even chunks of an earlier song while making it different enough to retain songwriting royalties. Since U Been Gone is an example from The Song Machine. It rips off Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Also see New Order who ripped off the same Giorgio Moroder/Donna Summer song for both Temptation and Blue Monday.

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